Tithing

I realized recently that all the places I regularly give to are ministries or people that I have had a personal connection with. I give to a YWAM friend & mentor; Ten Thousand Homes started by YWAM people that I used to babysit for; a Philly ministry I've been to; a prayer room that I was with during the beginning stages; and others. I bring this up to say that my giving is so much more meaningful because I have a connection to these places and believe in what they are doing.



Speaking of ministries, Ten Thousand Homes just recently started partnering with this ministry called Knit-A-Square that distributes blankets, vests, and hats made by knitters the world over. What a good way for me to utilize my basket of scraps! I've been pondering what to do with them. This is the perfect solution. So once I've finished a current project or two that's in progress, I'll start knitting squares and hats to send to Africa. Thanks for this great idea, Jen.



Here's my basket of scraps and some hats that I made a long time ago that have been little used. Can't wait until it's a basket of hats and squares to keep cold children warm.

Herb Garden

I know I've used this mostly to write the things I think about, normally deep things or something God's been showing me or stirring in me. Anyhow, though, I don't know if anyone really follows this, I'm going to begin to use it in other ways also. To share what I've been doing, anecdotes, recent projects, etc.

And here is the first: the beginning of my herb project. This was an idea birthed in the cold of winter, when the thought of summer sun was very appealing. I think it could end up being more work than I expected. And I'm still only hopeful that my little plants will survive. I don't have much faith in my gardening skills at the moment, but we shall see.




Tiny Bee Balm plants just transplanted yesterday. I hope they grow. Interesting fact: Bee Balm tea is what New Englander's drank instead of the taxed tea from England.



Dill, Cilantro, Basil, Parsley, Thyme, and some others I can't remember at the moment.



So this is my garden so far. The beautiful purple flocks are the backdrop for now, though I hope by midsummer to have some flowering lavender beside them.

Where will you spend eternity?

Where will you spend eternity? Heaven or Hell? You'd better decide before it's too late ...

Can I just say that I hate this question?

How has Christianity become only about where we will spend eternity? Where in the Bible does it say that Jesus died so you could go to heaven; we act and talk as this was the only reason he needed to die: so we could have eternal life and go to heaven. It's such a pretty, little picture ... and it means I don't have to do anything but get people to say they want to go to heaven too.

I have a big problem with this!

Jesus did not come just to get us into heaven. I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but his purpose was and is so much bigger than that. He declares his purpose in John 10:10 and we somehow pass over it in preference of the heaven/hell/eternity purpose. "The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but I HAVE COME THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE LIFE AND LIFE TO THE FULL." Abundant life other translations say. He's talking about life, here, on earth, not eternal life. He came to give us hope now! not just a future hope. He came to destroy the curse that was destroying us!

And all we give people is a decision between a heaven and hell that, by and large, many people don't believe in anymore. What attraction does this Christianity hold?

So back to this curse. Back in the garden of Eden, Adam was created in God's image, literally, and bore God's glory, His weightiness. As Dutch Sheets says creation did a double take when they saw Adam pass by: He looked like God! And he bore His glory and was given dominion, rule, authority, command to govern this earth. As he bore the image of God, creation obeyed him, obeyed God in him. As we know, the Fall happened and Adam sold out his right to govern this earth to Satan thus leading to the curse. A curse of death, slow, gradual decline physically, mentally, emotionally, relationally. In came sickness, disease, sorrow, pain, toil: all that Adam had never known when he bore the image and glory of God. No longer did creation obey him as it had.

And this curse has been wearing on us for 10,000+ years. It's a wonder our bodies still work as well as they do!

Jesus came to break this curse, that we could once again bear the image and glory of God. He came bearing the image and glory of God. That's why he could walk on water. The water recognized the image of God in Jesus, recognized His authority to govern. That's why demons fled before Him and sickness left at His command. Through His death, Jesus conquered death and overcame the curse, so that through Him, we may once again bear the image and glory of God and govern this earth as Adam was created to do.

So then why do we still hold onto the curse? Why when Jesus has declared "He whom the Son sets free is free indeed!" do we still live in bondage? Why do we hold onto sin and darkness and death and accept these things that are so unjust?! Jesus' burned with passion at the injustice caused by the curse and we cling to it! And I'm talking about Christians!

Yes, I know it feels safe; we know how the curse works; we've lived with it all our lives. It becomes a case of que sera, sera as we believe that God will do whatever He will do whether we live abundant life and bear His image or just cling to the curse and pray we make it to heaven! Don't you, can't you, see that He meant life to be so much more.

We, as Christians, are meant to be like Jesus, to follow His example, shake off the curse, and pick up the image and glory of God. I know it's scary; it's a road we haven't walked, but Jesus has.

I want to be like Jesus. I want to bear His image, that people, that creation does a double take. "Was that just Jesus?" When the snake bites me, I want (as it happened with Paul) that the poison recognizes the image of God in me and does no harm. I want demons to recognize the image of God in me and flee. I want sickness and death to loose their grip because of the glory of God in me. I want to live boldly utilizing the authority that is mine on earth as a Christian. I want to live abundant life, bearing the image and glory of God as I was ordained to from the foundation of the earth.

I'm not a Christian

"Someone recently asked me what the moment was when I became a Christian. And I told them, I never did become a Christian. I can't turn the other cheek. I can't sell all my possessions and give them away. I can't love my enemy. I am not a Christian because I can't do what Jesus asks . . . I can't do what He asks me to do, so I can't legitimately claim to be a Christian." - Bill Moyers

I wish the Church would awake and understand this as clearly as Bill Moyers does. Works are not the same as faith, nor do works make our faith. But as one author writes, you say you have faith, but I'll show you my faith by my works. Or as Rich Mullins sings "faith without works, like a song you can't sing, it's about as useless as a screen door on a submarine." Yet it seems that a marjority of American Church as we know thinks that Christianity is just about a personal, private, keep-it-to-yourself faith that has no actions to prove its existence. It's a go to church on Sunday, live like the world Monday through Saturday faith. I'm tired of that kind of lifeless faith. I'm tired of a faith that is not truly "the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

I admit that I am no better. I claim to be a Christian. I claim to have faith even. Yet my actions do not prove that faith on a daily basis. My brother Jordan was sick for almost a week. I didn't once go over to him and pray for him. My mom's shoulder hurts so bad she can hardly move. I still haven't prayed for her. Yet I prayed for a woman's ankle the other week. A woman I did not know, because I felt God tell me to. But that was anonymous; she did not know me; I didn't feel responsible for the results (it it took a wholel hour to get up the guts to just do it!). But Jesus told us to lay our hands on the sick, no matter who they are, and have faith that God will heal them.

Do you realize how many hard things Jesus commanded us to do? I was thinking about the love passage in Corinthians the other day, where it says "love is patient, love is kind, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs . . . " No record! I keep a record, I hold a grudge! Then I'm NOT walking in love. But Jesus says "love one another as I have loved you." Or what about when he says those who haven't left father or mother, brother or sister, or wife or child are not worthy of me? How have we convinced ourselves that such statements don't apply to us somehow. That they were commands only for the disciples or the early church? Jesus didn't just give commands to the early church and then expect that we, with our smart, technological minds, would somehow just figure out which ones He meant for us to obey and which ones we didn't have to obey. God is the same God today, yesterday, and forever. His commands remain the same. His heart's desire remains the same.

Maybe we need to re-evaluate what being a Christian is. And if we are not willing to do as Jesus says, to release the grudge, to release our pride and reputation, to give up our dreams, even our life wishes, to give generously of our hard earned money in an economic recession, to not only give our money, but out time, our heart, our compassion, to actually care about people and give of who we are. If we are not willing to do thiese things maybe we need to stop calling ourselves Christians.

I think I'm ready for something more than being a Sunday Christian or just calling myself a Christian. I think I'm ready to be one. Honestly, it freaks me out. Me, pray for someone and actually see them healed! Me, drink poison and not die! Me, love with a love that does not remember wrongs. Me, not only remember the orphan and the widow, but care for the orphan and the widow. I can't even wrap my head fully around what being a Christian should look like.

No, I can . . . it should look like Jesus, unmistakably, vulnerably, humbly like Jesus.

That's what I want to be. I want to be so full of Him, that I get mistaken for Jesus. It starts with obeying Him, doing the things He commands us to do in His Word. It not some great spiritual, head in the clouds, oh my! I'm surrounded by glory, revelation: "Jesus just told me to do the things He already commanded me to do, Wow!" It's a hard, cold, gut decision to be obedient to everything He has already commanded me to do and let the results in His hands. The only feeling is a tight knot in the stomach feeling of "What have I just gotten myself into and Oh God! I can't do this without you."

Anyone want to join me?

Be Still

Late last night, I sat in the basement by myself. The house was quiet; I was the only one who remained awake. I was reviewing where I'm at in life and where I want to be. I'm new graduated from nursing school and for the first time in my life, I'm not a student. I'm now a full-time employee at a large hospital and have no other commitments. I don't know what to do next. I have opportunities and interests. But I can't pursue all of them at once and I don't know what to pursue next. Really at the heart of it though what I most want to do is get married and start a family.
I sat on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket, telling God all this. He knows my desire for marriage; he placed it within me. He also knows the timing of that when I do not. I just wanted to know what to do next, what to pursue. I asked him. You desire obedience above sacrifice. Tell me what to do; I'll be obedient. . .
In the stillness of the house, all I heard was the gentle whisper in my heart "Be still and know I am God; be with me".
I am honored and humbled that God wants to be with me. That he asks for my presence. But I don't know HOW to simply be with God. I don't know HOW to be still. I'm a Martha; I know how to do. I'm good at doing. But when the only direction I have is "Be still", I get lost.
I sat there, knowing in my heart that this is truly what God wants from me right now. It's not the first time he has spoken these words in the silence. All I could say was "Daddy, you taught my friend Kathy to be, will you teach me?"
As I crawled into bed a short time later. My mind went back to the verse about God desiring obedience over sacrifice. What if I actually took that verse seriously, at face value? What if I actually started obeying the words of Jesus to pray, to love, to give, to heal, to trust, to pour out my life? What would happen if I was truly obedient?
Daddy, do what you will in my life and with my life. Teach me to be still; teach me to be obedient. I am willing.

My Civic Duty

Twenty years old & I got called up for jury duty. My parents both have only been called once & both once they were over thirty. I entered the courthouse, not sure what to expect (besides a lot of sitting), yet excited at the same time. I even secretly hoped to get on an actual jury for the experience of it. It may be once in a lifetime.
Well, I got my wish. I sat on a jury for a man charged with sex crimes against a minor. Not exactly the kind of case I was hoping for.
I came home the first day after hearing the two primary witness for the prosecution side. There was a sinking feeling, a knot beginning to form inside, almost sure that we would have to find the defendent guilty.
I had realized half way through the testimonies what an awesome responsibility I had. It actually mattered whether or not I thought this man to be guilty. I had to decide for myself based on the evidence. And my decision could let him walk free or could incarcerate him for many years to come, not to mention ruin his chances of a normal life when he finally got out. I was struck with the weight of the responsibility on my shoulders. And wondered how crazy is the government to allow, or ask a twenty year old to make such a decision?
I expected at least an almost black & white trial; but that was not the case. It could hardly have been grayer. It essentially came down to what the boy said versus what the defendent said. There were no witnesses to collaborate either story. All witnesses collaborating with the victim, were collaborating based on what he had told them. There were contradictions on both sides; stories that didn't line up; dates that changed. At the end of it, we the jury had to decide if the prosecution had proved their case beyond reasonable doubt. We had to judge who was more credible, the boy or the defendent. The defendent was more credible & there were just too many questions in each of our minds that we had reasonable doubt.
We acquitted him, found him not quilty!
Did we make the right decision? I don't know. But we had to make the decision we could live with. I was not convinced enough to send a man to jail. I can live with the fact that we let him go free; I could not live with incarcerating an innocent man.
It was a learning experience to be sure. And I actually hope that I will again have the privilege, honor, & responsibility to serve on a jury. It's not just a duty.

Break Our Hearts

Teach us, oh Lord, what it really means To rend our hearts instead of outer things
Teach us, oh God, what we do not see
About our hearts and of our ways
And Father, deal with our carnal desires
To move in your power but not live the life
And to love our neighbor with all that we have
And keep our tongues from saying things we have not seen

Oh, break our hearts with the things that break yours
If we sow in tears, we will reap in joy
That we might pass through your refining fire
Where brokeness awaits on the other side
Where brokeness awaits on the other side

Raise up an army like Joel saw
Your church that is stronger than ever before
They do not break ranks when they plung through defenses
But the fear of the Lord will be their wisdom
That they might weep as Jesus wept
A fountain of tears for the wounded and lost
Whoever heard of an army of God
That conquered the earth by weeping and mourning and brokeness?

There will be a day when the nations will bow
And our Lord will be King over all the earth
And he will be the only one
And also his name will be the only one.

(Kevin Prosch, c 1991 Mercy Publishing)