Haiti Thoughts

I meant to process these thoughts more and write them out more formally, however, I returned from Haiti over a month ago and still have not rewritten these thoughts.

So here they are for whoever cares to read them in their unedited roughness.

"For such a Time as this ...
Perfect Love casts out Fear ...
The Joy of the Lord is my Strength ...
Destiny ... Calling ...
Know the Depth of the Father's Love ...
Stir up Desire in your Heart ...
Surpassing Righteousness of the Heart ...

For such a time as this ...
For such a time as this, I was called to go to Haiti and I went in obedience knowing that there was an aspect of my destiny that I would find in Haiti. Indeed I did.
For such a time as this, I was created by God, ordained to be His child.
For such a time as this, I was called to fulfill the destiny placed on my life.
For such a time as this, I was called. I have a destiny to fulfill that no one else can fulfill. It's not about me! This is about Jesus and the reward He deserves for His suffering. He asks for all of me and my total surrender. When I hold back, the world looses out more than I do. It's not about me, but about the love in the Father's heart that He longs to reveal through me. Why am I keeping this love for myself? It grows as I give it out! Do I have so small a revelation of this love that I don't share it? Then I need to ask for a greater revelation. The Father won't give me a stone when I ask for bread. Nor will He give me only crumbs. If I am willing, He has a table spread with a feast for me. But will I respond and say for such a time as this I have been created and called?

We are pressed down, but not crushed; persecuted but not abandoned; crushed by not destroyed.

The physical condition of Haiti right now is the spiritual condition of America. And were it not for the grace of God, we would physically look like Haiti. We have a Christian foundation that stays the judgment of Christ, but for how long? For such a time as this, we were born in this nation with the favor and grace of God poured out abundantly upon us. But if we do not become salt and light, that grace will be withdrawn; it's only a matter of time.
There is a spirit of apathy that keeps Haiti in physical poverty. This is the way it's always been, this is the way it will always be. As long as that spirit remains, Haiti will remain in poverty.
We are spiritual poverty living in spiritual apathy. And God's saying I'm longing to do more, but as long as you are content with ankle deep, I can't move you to knee deep. We need to stir up a spirit of discontent and desire in our hearts! Just because this is the way it's always been, doesn't mean this is the way it's meant to be! We need to become dissatisfied, so God can satisfy! We become dissatisfied when we catch the vision of the way God meant something to be. We become dissatisfied when we realize there is more! Oh, God stir up holy dissatisfaction and give us vision of the way you long for things to be!"

Be blessed, be dissatisfied, be hungry, be filled ... for such a time as this you were created and called by the Holy God to bear His glory to a hungry and desperate world!

January 12th Journal

The Glory of God is man fully alive:
so make us fully alive.
You created us to bear Your glory:
image-bearers, glory-bearers, glory-manifesters!
You said Your glory would cover the earth as the waters cover the seas ...
We are Your glory when we bear Your image.
We will cover the earth.
We will carry Your glory until it covers the earth.
We are Your glory.
You in us is Your glory.
Us alive in You is Your glory.
You came to give us eternal life, abundant life, Glory-filled Life!
This is Your glory for us to be fully alive!

January 5th Journal

You won't relent until You have it all
           My heart is Yours.
I'll set You as a seal upon my arm, as a seal upon my heart . . .
You keep chasing my heart, never stopping, Your desire, Your love as strong as death, Your jealousy as strong as the grave.
You want all of me, as part won't satisfy Your desire for me . . . Only all of me.
And You keep pursuing my heart, never stopping, my heart is Your goal, all of my heart.
You desire me . . . Your daughter, Your creation . . .
You call me beautiful, Your own love . . .
Beulah, Hephzibah . . . married to Him, His desire is for me.
I am my Lover's and He is mine. His desire is for me and mine for Him.
Beautiful and perfect You are, my Lover.
Holy and righteous, worthy of all my heart, all of me.

December 22nd Journal

I am worthy

     Because He says I am worthy.
I have value
     Because He calls me valuable.
I am lovely
     Because He has made me lovely.
Beulah, Hephsibah
     His delight is in me!
I love Him;
     He loves me more.
I desire Him;
     He desires me more
Jealous is He!
     I'm after His heart;
And He is after mine.

And how can the clay say to the Potter,
"You made me wrong, imperfect?"
How can I say to my Maker
"You messed up?"
He has made me Perfect, Beautiful, Lovely.
                     Do I believe this?
Do I believe that He delights in me
                     More than I can ever delight in Him?

My heart & desires are pleasing to Him.
I stop sometimes . . . & think:
                     "Why would He do this for me?"
Why would He not?!
                     Do not believe the lie!

"I delight over you,
      I dance over you.
My desire is for you,
      My heart is for you.
Why would I not give you a good gift?"
                       (But I am so unworthy of my heart's desire . . .)
"No, I have declared you worthy;
       Not because of who you are,
       But who you are in Me,
       Because of My love for you.
I have declared you worthy.
     What I have declared worthy,
     Do not declare unworthy.
You are my daughter,
Desirable, Captivating, Lovely.
Daughter, you capture My heart!
When you dance,
     My eyes sparkle.
When you sing,
     Heaven becomes silent.
When you pray,
    My heart rejoices.

You, My daughter,
Are a blessing to My heart."