My conscience has been bugging me recently about a few things, but one thing in particular.
Respect. Respect is due where Respect is due. As a Christian, I think I owe respect to certain people whether or not I feel like they've earned it.
I have a class instructors for nursing who is also my clinical instructor that I am having a real hard to giving her the respect she is due as my instructor. See the thing is that she hasn't been an actual floor nurse anywhere for more than five years and that was twenty years ago. She kinda knows what she needs to know, but can't always answer our questions. And she beats around the bush and repeats herself like nothing else. I just want to be like "Yeah, I get it. Let's move on now." Of course I don't say anything. Well not to her anyway.
She taught in class for the first time this semester and I've already been with her for three weeks in clinical so I knew what was coming and "warned" my friend, Deb. Then throughout the lecture we were making comments to each other like "Okay, you said that already" "We get it already!" Just little stuff like that.
But my conscience is bothering me pretty bad for it. She is owed my respect because she is my teacher. She may not have experience; she may not know everything I think she should; she may not be the best instructor; she may not be interesting in lecture; but as my teacher, I owe her a certain level of respect. And I admit, I haven't been giving that to her. That's wrong, despite what I think or feel.
Such comments and lack of respect are degrading to her as a teacher. Other students may do it and I know they will, but that doesn't make it right. I know I need to change my attitude, but honestly I don't want to. She has not earned my respect so why should I give it?! My conscience, though, is proof that I should give it. And I have a feeling that I may have already let this go so far that I will owe her an actually apology at some point.
I do want to be a Christian and follow Jesus. I just didn't realize how hard and seemingly "picky" he is about behavior and attitudes. But it is out of love that he speaks and asks such things: love for me and love for my instructor. And I have the responsibility as a Christian to responsibly be obedient to his voice. I hear you loud and clear, Jesus.
"I changed my attitude, Daddy!"