Haiti Update #1

This is truly my most real mission trip. there is no unpacking, no getting organized. We are 20+ people living in one home, sharing 2 bathrooms, and an outdoor shower (I haven't used it yet & prolly wont). We sleep on the cement roof on thin air mattresses: men and women together. Talk about getting to know people. fortunately only pastor salik snores. but there's always the donkeys and roosters making noise also. We finally arrived here late Friday night. Saturday, I went out with the medical team that was already here. Didn't see anything real severe. Except that we were in a tent city with a population of 30,000! We drove by the caribbean market that fell killing roughly 200. It still smells horrible and they are only beginning to try to bulldoze it clear. I haven't cried yet. it's all just so big, it's numbing. How do you know where to start? And there was such great need already before the earthquake. And I can only think of how we complain about healthcare and lack of access in the states. We know nothing of lack of healthcare! I felt like all we did as a medical team was put a bandaid on a gaping wound. saw a man being carried on a litter to and from a hospital to have his leg redressed. He had an external fixator (look it up on google images) on his leg! I did almost cry yesterday seeing an 8 month old baby the size of a 3 month old with the emotional response of a 2 month old. So skinny. No smile, no laugh. So malnourished. No teeth either. Heartbreaking, yet all I feel is numbness and an overwhelming sense of hopelessness. Daddy, break my heart with the things that break yours. Just some of my thoughts.